Old Harlovians

Photos and documents from Max Blake

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:18:50 +0100

I would just like to draw your attention to the photos and documents that Max Blake uploaded earlier this year.

There are some interesting documents recording the AGM's during the 60's and 70's and also a couple of newsletters. You can magnify them if you have difficulty in reading them (I know I did!)

I hope everyone is well and I look forward to receiving your news in due course.

Keep in touch.

Warm regards

Harlovian

Comments

Definitions and Jokes: Courtesy of Richard Baldry

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:40:12 +0200

>
> ADULT
> A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in
> the middle.
>
> BEAUTY PARLOR
> A place where women curl up and dye.
>
> CANNIBAL
> Someone who is fed up with people
>
> CHICKENS
> The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
>
> COMMITTEE
> A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
>
> DUST
> Mud with the juice squeezed out.
>
> EGOTIST
> Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
>
> HANDKERCHIEF
> Cold Storage
>
> INFLATION
> Cutting money in half without damaging the paper
>
> MOSQUITO
> An insect that makes you like flies better.
>
> RAISIN
> Grape with a sunburn
>
> SECRET
> Something you tell to one person at a time.
>
> SKELETON
> A bunch of bones with the person scraped off
>
> TOOTHACHE
> The pain that drives you to extraction
>
> TOMORROW
> One of the greatest labor saving devices of today
>
> WRINKLES
> Something other people have;
> I have character lines!
>
> YAWN
> An honest opinion openly expressed.
>
>
>
> Jokes
> -----
>
> After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery
> case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury
> reached a verdict in this case?"
>
> "Yes, we have, your honor," the foreman responded.
>
> "Would you please pass it to me," the judge declared, as he motioned
> for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and
> deliver it to him.
>
> After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict
> slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs
> the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."
>
> "We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery,"
> stated the foreman.
>
> The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the verdict
> and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude.
>
> The man's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you
> think about that?"
>
> The defendant, with a bewildered look on his face turns to his
> attorney and says, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I
> have to give all the money back?"
>
> -o-o-o-o-
>
> Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the
> harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.
>
> One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum
> jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in
> bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering
> and came into the room wearing a towel.
>
> Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it
> on. "What are you doing?" I asked.
>
> "Well" he replied, "if you are going to be formal. So am I."
>
> -o-o-o-o-
>
> I was leaving for a two-day conference, and my seven-year- old
> daughter, Katherine, was becoming overly clinging and teary.
>
> I was mystified at her emotional reaction until I heard
> her say to my husband, "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If it
> falls out while Mommy is gone, do you know how to handle
> this tooth fairy thing?"
>
> -o-o-o-o-
>
> What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Comments

James Edgar Overton (Chewy)

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 12:35:56 +0200

Here is a picture of "Chewy" Overton who taught Maths at HC in the late 50's and certainly was there when I left in 1963.

This photograph was sent to me by Jonathan Howarth who was a day boy at HC between 1960 and 1963 (Keyes House). Jonathan informs me that he was privately tutored by Chewy who was married to Eileen. The photo was taken in the summer of 1975 at Broadstairs in Kent and Chewy died in either 1976 or 1977 as far as JH can recall. He is buried in Potter Street churchyard.

Jonathon also recalls a visit to see Roy Purgavie in Dorset who was pining over a failed romance. (I find that rather odd, but hey ho!) Roy died in 1967 I believe at the age of 56. I remember receiving a letter from Godfrey Harvey informing me that he had died and I am fairly certain it was 1967.

For those of you who attended the HC reunion, I hope you had a pleasant evening and I eagerly await the photos and report from Michael Dyke, which I will publish here.

Comments

Interesting Anagrams?

Mon, 04 May 2009 14:42:09 +0200

Here are some interesting anagrams. The first one in particular has an authentic ring to it!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: !
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER (no offence intended!)

Comments

In Memorium - Tony Cook

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 10:14:16 +0200

It is with regret that I have to report the death of Tony Cook (1948-1957), who passed away on April 4th 2009.

Tony was Treasurer of The Old Harlovians Club for many years until his retirement from the role on 17th May 2008 when Colin Porcher was elected.

Tony had been suffering from cancer for some time, although I understand he suffered a fatal heart attack on April 4th.

If any of you who knew Tony well and would like to record your memories or tribute, please send me a message through this site and I will publish them for you.

Our condolences and deepest sympathy is extended to his family at this sad time.

Comments

Anyone on Facebook?

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:13:25 +0100

So far I have traced about 4 Old Harlovians on Facebook and have started a small group

Click here to go to Group

If you are a member of Facebook, please join and it will be another way that we can keep in touch.

Happy Valentines Day to all and sundry!

Harlovian

Comments

President Lincoln and President Kennedy - A Coincidence?

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 12:54:29 +0100

This was sent to me this morning and I thought it was rather interesting. Enough so to share it with you as a bit of a history lesson!

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Quite a lot of coincidences there don't you think?

Warm regards

Harlovian

Comments

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 14:07:10 +0100

Another year is almost over. Turbulent economic times globally and no doubt many more challenges to come in 2009.

However, we must all look forward with a positive "can do" attitude and do our bit to help make this world a better place to live in.

To all of you Old Harlovians who read this blog, may I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy and peaceful New Year.

Warm regards

Harlovian

Comments

Some more useless stats

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:41:54 +0100

In the absence of anything interesting to report, I thought I would share the blog stats with you once more.

To date we have had 14,657 page views and to the end of October 6,754 visitors to the blog.

Not bad for a school that closed down 43 years ago and whose youngest pupil should be about 52 years old by now. That is of course assuming there were some 9 year olds there when HC closed down.

Comments

Another House Photo courtesy Nick Haseler - Beatty House 1953

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:24:07 +0100

Comments

House Photo - courtesy Nick Haseler

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:18:14 +0100

Comments

Old Harlovians Reunion 2008

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:49:59 +0200

Your Chairman and Secretary raise their glasses to you!

Click on the photo and it will enlarge it and take you to the album, where you may view the other photos.

On photo No 17 is a description of Who's Who in the pictures.

Comments

Photos Now uploaded

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:32:27 +0200

If you access media the photos taken by Michael Dyke are in the Reunion 2008 album and there is a photo with Who's Who on.

I hope you enjoy them!

Harlovian

Comments

At Last The Minutes!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:55:46 +0200

At last, thanks to the new technology purchased by our intrepid secretary, I am able to publish the minutes of the reunion held on 17th May this year. The official photos will follow. Here we go...

OLD HARLOVIANS CLUB

MINUTES OF THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING HELD ON
17TH MAY 2008 at ST. JOHN’S ARTS AND RECREATION CENTRE

42 members attended the Meeting.

1. The Chairman welcomed everyone to the Meeting, especially Jack Smart (23-33), who was attending for the very first time. The Chairman also commented that he and several others attending this year’s Reunion had left the school fifty years ago.

2. The Minutes of the 2007 AGM were taken as read as they had been circulated to all members. Adoption of the Minutes was proposed by Andrew James (51-57) and seconded by Malcolm Seward (49-56). Passed unanimously. There were no matters arising.

3. Treasurer’s Report. Tony Cook (48-57), reported a total income of £1118 and a total expenditure of £1026. This gave a surplus of £92, leaving a reserve of £1938. Adoption was proposed by Tony White (51-56) and seconded by Vic Bellingham (54-59). Passed unanimously. There were no matters arising. Tony Cook announced that he would not be looking for re-election as Treasure, and thanked Peter Cottee (48-52) for auditing the Accounts in the past, and Bob West (41-45) for doing this year’s Accounts.
He also gave a cautionary tale of his main electric cable coming into his house catching fire spontaneously, the house being saved by his CO2 fire extinguisher and the Fire Brigade. Watch out for “tear drops” of tar appearing on the outside of old cables. A vote of thanks was given to Tony Cook for his services over several years as Treasurer.

4. Election of Chairman. Roger Pyle (53-58) was proposed for the next year by David Abbey (43-51). Carried unanimously.

5. Election of Secretary. Michael Dyke (50-58) was unanimously elected for the forthcoming year. Richard Atkins (50-58) made the observation that Michael Dyke’s wife, Shirley, should be thanked for her services in assisting the Secretary. David Dufton (46-52) proposed that a bouquet of flowers should be sent to her. This was passed unanimously.

6. Election of Treasurer. John Parsons (41-51) proposed Colin Porcher (46-54) for the vacant post of Treasurer. Seconded by David Morgan (47-55) and carried unanimously.

7. Members’ telephone numbers and email addresses. The Meeting again allowed their telephone numbers and email addresses to be appended to the Members Directory.

8. Date and Venue of next Meeting. The Meeting agreed that the next AGM will be on 16th May 2009 at St. Johns ARC, with Walker Catering providing the meal.

9. Any Other Business.
(a) The Chairman informed the Meeting that the Secretary had purchased a secondhand photocopier, to a large extent for the benefit of the Old Harlovians Club, and he proposed that 50 per cent of the cost should be reimbursed. This was agreed by the Meeting. There was then a counter proposal from Malcolm Seward (49-56) that the full cost should be reimbursed to the Secretary, and this was agreed by the Meeting.
(b) The Chairman thanked Norman Pegrum (38-43) for bringing along the public address system.

The Meeting closed at 10.40 p.m.

Comments

OH Reunion 17th May 2008

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:02:43 +0200

Another Cup Final Day - Portsmouth 1 Cardiff 0. Of little interest to me or anyone else I think - (unless you happen to live in Portsmouth or Cardiff).

I arrived at about 3 p.m. having travelled via Norwich to visit Roger Beck who was unable to attend this year, so I was pretty tired, having covered about 350 miles since 6.20 a.m.

First port of call was the Railway Inn at Sawbridgeworth to check in and order a taxi to take me to The Gate pub, where Messrs Baldry and Alexander were waiting to ply me with ale.

It was all rather subdued. An indifferent Cup Final and an almost empty lounge. In 2006 when I last attended the OH reunion, we met in the same pub on a baking hot day (in June!!!) to witness England in their opening World Cup game against Paraguay (we won 1-0). The atmosphere was totally different and of course, we drank far more beer than this time round!

We only had one drink and decided to return to the Railway to give them our custom instead. I only managed a couple of family sized G & T's and had to go to my room for a little rest as the long drive had caught up with me (and possibly the beer and the gin!).

McCready was late as usual and showed his face shortly before we were due to be picked up by our 7 seater cab to take us to the reunion. We all piled in to the cab and duly arrived at St John's. I was last out of the cab (which had fancy sliding doors) and tried to close the door. It was very stiff and I had to really force it to move it about a inch. The cabbie said "It's electric mate." He pressed the button and it smoothly shut. I felt a right wallie! Of course the boys found this highly amusing.

The evening was pleasantly spent and unfortunately, I did not take a menu home this year and I cannot for the life of me remember what we had to eat, but it was very nice. Perhaps someone can remind us of the fayre?

The key event for me was that Tony Cook has decided to retire after 13 years as Treasurer and Colin Porcher was duly elected to take over from him.

I would like to echo the thanks given to Tony on behalf of the Old Harlovians for all the hard work that he has put in over the years and no doubt we will see you at next year's bash Tony - (more relaxed I hope!)

Indeed our thanks to all the committee for the work that they put in to make the reunion a success year after year.

I eagerly await the copy of the minutes from Michael Dyke and I will publish them as soon as I receive them.

The evening finished at about 11 ish and we repaired to the Railway. I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open and was away up to my room at about 11.45. The boys had a couple of drinks and I don't think that they were far behind me.

We were all up at a reasonable time and had a Full English breakfast, cups of tea and toast and a chinwag and I was on the road for about 11 a.m.

It was my birthday on the Sunday (18th) and I planned to be home at a reasonable time to have a celebratory meal with my wife. I spent most of the day in traffic jams on the M6 as 2 junctions were closed due to serious accidents. I eventually arrived home at 4.20 p.m.

There are a few photos that you can access via The Media section that I took on the night. They are in the album titled Reunion 2008. Enjoy.

Next year's reunion takes place on May 16th at St John's Arts & Leisure Centre, (the old chapel) - Old Harlow at 7.00 pm for 7.30 pm. See you there.

Harlovian

Comments

Old Harlovian Reunion 2007

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:28:25 +0100

If you click on the photo it will enlarge it in another window and you can view the rest of the photos in the album entitled Reunion 2007. Thanks to Michael Dyke for providing the photos.

Comments

Minutes of AGM held on 19th May 2007

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:32:47 +0100

Better late than never! I will be scanning the "official" photos shortly and will be posting them on the blog in the next few days. Please try and make this year's reunion on 17th May won't you?

MINUTES OF THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING HELD ON 19TH MAY 2007 at ST. JOHN'S ARTS AND RECREATION CENTRE - OLD HARLOW

37 members attended the Meeting.

1. The Chairman welcomed all to the meeting and proposed the toast to "The Old Harlovians."

2. The Minutes of the 2006 AGM were taken as read as they had been circulated to all members. Adoption of the Minutes was proposed by Malcolm Norris (50-55) and seconded by Richard Atkins (50-58). Passed unanimously. There were no matters arising.

3. Treasurer's Report. Tony Cook (48-57), reported a total income of £1255 and a total expenditure of £1135. This gave a surplus of £119, leaving a reserve of £1845. There were no matters arising. Proposed by Michael Collins (44-00) and seconded by Tony Milton (4551). Passed unanimously. Tony Cook thanked the auditor, Peter Cottee (48-52).

4. Election of Officers. The office holders were re-elected en bloc: Chairman; Roger Pyle (53-58). Secretary; Michael Dyke (50-58). Treasurer; Tony Cook (48-57). Re-election proposed by John Pryor (58-64) and seconded by Malcolm Norris (50-55). Carried unanimously.

5. Members' telephone numbers and email addresses. The Meeting again allowed their telephone numbers and email addresses to be appended to the Members Attending list to be sent out in 2008, to facilitate communications. The Secretary apologised for not appending them this year.

6. Date and Venue of next Meeting. The Meeting agreed that the next AGM will be on 17th May 2008 at S1. Johns ARC, with Walker Catering providing the meal.

Any Other Business.
(a) Tony White (51-56) requested that no phone numbers or emails were made -available on -the web site. This was agreed.
(b) Roger Brickwood (62-65) suggested that the O.H. Club was remembered in members' wills, to boost the Club's finances. The Chairman thanked Roger for his suggestion, but did note that the Club's life expectancy was limited, and therefore it would serve no purpose to finance it in perpetuity. Some of the older members present also thought it would be of more benefit to the younger ones. Bill Billing (45-51) suggested that, at the demise of the Club, it should go out with a bang!
(c) Peter Cottee (48-52) suggested that the Club should fund the price of one ticket for the following year's A.G.M. and Dinner as a raffle prize. This was agreed.
(d) Tony White proposed a vote of thanks to the officials.
(e) Norman Pegrum (38-43) was thanked by the Chairman for bringing along the public address system.
(f) Robert Collins (40-45) was thanked for supplying Hadham Water for the meeting.

7.
The Meeting closed at 10.42 pm.

Comments

The record has been broken!

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:45:58 +0100

You know what I am like for stats. Of interest for the number crunchers. January 2008 saw the highest volume of traffic to the Old Harlovians blog site since we started in March 2007.

We had 489 visitors which beat December 2007 previous best of 403 and we had 1180 page views which beat April 2007 previous best of 1032.

Keep viewing and please feel free to send in any news that you would like published on the blog.

Harlovian

Comments

Old Harlovians Reunion 17th May 2008

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:31:07 +0100

Just to remind you that this year's reunion will take place at the usual venue - St John's Art & Leisure Centre (formerly the school chapel) in Church Walk, Old Harlow on Saturday May 17th at 7 for 7.30 pm.

Tickets are available from the secretary Michael Dyke. If you want further information, please contact me via this blog, by sending me a private message or leaving a comment.

I look forward to seeing as many of you there as possible.

Kind regards

Harlovian

Comments

Some Statistics For You

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:43:04 +0100

Since the blog commenced on 20th March 2007, we have had over 2300 visitors and in excess of 6400 page views (2317 & 6414 to be precise!) at time of writing.

I am impressed, considering the blog is of little interest to anyone other than somebody connected to Harlow College.

With the exception of the previous posting, it has gone a little quiet on the contributions from you "Old Boys" out there, so any memories, reminiscences or "what you are doing now" stories will be most welcome.

Warm regards

Harlovian

Comments

Pete Guthrie

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 13:35:25 +0100

I have recently made contact (after a rather prolonged absence)with Chris McCready, who is well and working hard on restoring his computer to its' former glory.

Some of you may remember Peter Guthrie who was at HC in the early 60s, well unfortunately we have just learned that he was killed in a car accident back in 1977 when he was just 28 years old.

Chris recently received an e-mail from his sister (now Pamela Graham) and I have reproduced the contents of it here for you.

If any of you remember Pete Guthrie and have some memories, please share them in the comments section or contact me privately and I will make sure they are passed to Pamela and subsequently Pete's son, who wants to learn more about his father.

Email reproduced as follows:

By some circuitous route through cyberspace I have found myself on the Old Harlovians website. Apart from being astonished that such a site exists in the first place I am also amazed that you are holding reunions and swapping old photos - it's really great to know that the spirit of Harlow College lives on all these years after it was demolished.

My name is Pamela Graham but I used to be Pamela Guthrie and my brother, Peter Guthrie, was a pupil at Harlow College at the same time as you.
You will probably not remember this after so long, but you and Dave Christian often came to our house at weekends (when Peter was allowed out for good behaviour - ha ha) when we lived at Theydon Bois in Essex, and lots of other names are now coming to mind such as Johnny Hackett, who lived at Loughton, Chris Lockwood, Nadir Bassenghi (Noddy ) from Persia (are we still allowed to call it that?) who my friend Sue and I remember as being very good looking and having the most wonderful Beatle haircut, and who I think my mother would have liked to adopt.

The reason I am contacting you is twofold. Firstly to let you know for your OH records that Peter very sadly died in a car accident in 1977 at the age of 28 (30 years ago this year - unbelievable really). His son, Ian, was born in 1976 and therefore has no recollection of his father as he was only 18 months old when Peter died.

As Ian has got older and met a number of friends and relatives who remember Peter, and especially now that he has a child of his own, he has wanted to know more and more about him, what he was like, what he did at school, etc etc. I thought I would look on Friends Reunited and see if there were any Harlow College names which rang bells and maybe contact some of them, and that is how I stumbled across your Old Harlovians site.

If you don't remember Peter at all then please forgive my intrusion and my ramblings. If you do remember, or are in contact with anyone who you think might remember him, would you be kind enough to give them my email address. I would be delighted to hear from anyone who remembers him and would love to pass on any anecdotes, reminiscences, etc to my lovely nephew.

Somewhere I have some Harlow College year photos and also a colour one of Peter's class just before they all left and which everyone has signed on the back. If I can dig them out I will scan them and let you have them for your website. I can also confirm that in the 1962 year photo, Peter is the fifth boy from the right on the top row.

Comments

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 17:29:20 +0100

To all Old Harlovians I trust you all had a very Merry Christmas and I would like to wish you all the best for 2008.

I hope that the New Year will bring Peace and prosperity to you all.

Best wishes

Harlovian

Comments

Christmas Quiz

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:39:56 +0100

Just for a bit of fun. The questions get progressively harder. See if you can finish it!

Click Here To Go To Christmas Quiz

Comments

Harlovian's Singapore Holiday Photos

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 12:34:11 +0100

Rather than take up valuable space with my holiday photos, (which may or may NOT be of interest to you!) - I have posted them on my personal blog

Personal Stuff

When you get to the site go to labels on left hand side and click on Singapore photos. If you then click on the image it will enlarge the picture. When you finish viewing click the back button on the browser bar to take you back to original post.

I have also included links in some of the post titles to Wikipedia for more information on places or people - e.g. Sir Stamford Raffles.

Hope you enjoy them.

Have a great week-end!

Harlovian

Comments

More photos - courtesy Nick Haseler

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 12:22:08 +0100

Here are some more photos. Hopefully Nick will add a comment or two to let you have more information. Good one of the Tectum though!

Comments

Photos - courtesy Nick Haseler

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 12:43:09 +0100

Click on image to enlarge. Several gems here! Dick mowing the grass, the science lab and some good shots of HC. Thanks Nick!

Harlovian

Comments

Hello from Singapore

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 08:59:13 +0200

Just thought I would do a quick post. We are about to leave for Bangkok (2 nights) and then off to Phuket for 4 nights with our friends who live in Singapore.

Barbara and I went off on our own to Kuala Lumpur (big adventure) and had a whistle stop taxi tour of the city taking in Batu Caves, Chinese Temple (can't spell name of it at moment) and then Petaling Street (shops - never seen so many mobile phone shops in my life!) In the evening we went to Chinatown, which I found interesting, but got fed up saying "No thank you" to belt buckles, hooky DVD's Rolexes and Gucci bags (although Mrs Jones did say yes to a couple of hooky Gucci and LV bags!).

Also, in Singpore, went with my mate to Orchard Tower on Friday evening which was an absolute education. I was asking him most of the evening which was a lady boy and which was a real woman. I must admit most of the lady boys had better figures than the "real thing" - That's what boarding school does for you though!!

Must go. Will report later. Hope you are all well.

Best wishes

Harlovian

Comments

Off to Singapore

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:45:58 +0200

Just thought I would let you know that I am off to Singapore today for 3 weeks holiday. If I get time I may do a post, but will probably bore you all with photos upon my return.

Still no sign of Mr McCready, so if you read this Chris, I sincerely hope all is well with you.

Yours in friendship

Harlovian

Comments

American Court Howlers

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:45:54 +0200

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
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And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Comments

Some one liners - good for texting

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 13:04:11 +0200

What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world?
He drowned.

Comments